The Moods of Simplicity

As I go through this journey in trying to simplify my life, it feels like i have been on a roller coaster of emotions with plenty of ups and downs.

When I first started to simply, I spent lots of time researching how to go about doing it. I felt purposeful and happy during this stage. I felt like I was taking my life and at least starting the process of making it more meaningful. Once I actually began to simply by decluttering my house, spending less, etc. I felt an elation of burdens lifing off of me.

This weekend, however, I have hit a low point in my simplification process.I have a hubby who is not totally on board with what I am doing. Which is fine, for the most part, we can work together and solve the difference of opinion on most matters. But for the most part, I don't think he understands the basis of what I am trying to do. He says he understands and agrees that we need to simplify, yet given the chance to spend money or complicate our lives, he will jump at the opportunity. He wants a new dog. We already have one dog and one cat, and now he wants a puppy. He is trying to persuade me, by saying that since I am home now, I will have time to train a puppy and care for it. He doesn't understand that this is not what I want. I am learning to be happy with what we have. We have a wonderful 9 year old dog, who is a sweet heart and more importantly is trained and out of the puppy stage. He is a very low-maintenance dog who fits well with the lifestyle that I want to lead!

So, hubby spent the weekend mad at me because he found the perfect dog and I would not let him bring it home! We looked at an English Bulldog. Now, I understand and validate hubby's feelings that he has dreamed of owning one of these types of dogs forever. He instantly fell in love with this dog because of the breed and didn't step back and look at the dog through impartail eyes. The minute the dog came into the room he jumped on both boys and scratched them, began to chew on my purse and didn't listen to a single command. This dog was a terror of dogs. The kids were afraid of him (they were hovering in the corner) and I didn't particularly like the fact the he was chewing on things. I was able to see the bigger picture that he would be chewing up our house, roughing up the kids, probably terrorizing the cat and our dog, and just generally not what we want. Well, when the woman grabbed his file (he was a humane society dog), she saw that on the list he was not good with cats or kids under 12. So she told us that she couldn't adopt him out to us, because of fear that he may injure or harm a cat. Fine with me. Plus, I thought I was in the clear there. No way, hubby could blame me for having to pass up his dream dog, when the humane society told us no.

Well, lo and behold, he found a way to blame me. I won't go into details. But he did.

I think that coupled with the fact that it was our wedding anniversary put me into a bad mood this weekend, that made living simply much harder. Part of my living simply philosophy is not spending money, so it is best to just stay home and relax. So I had nowhere to go (at least no where that I wouldn't spend money), to escape hubby's rants this weekend. So I spend the weekend at home taking care of the kids. I told DH that all I wanted for our anniversary gift was some time to myself (didn't cost anything, and I need it), but he couldn't even swing that! My best friends husband was out of town, so I was going to go to her house and watch some chick flicks and leave the kids at home and he threw a fit because it was our anniversary, so we should be spending time together. FINE. I stayed home, and we watched football. Whoopty freaking doo. I make so many sacrifices and I get nothing in return. I honestly believe that he didn't want to spend time as a family...he just didn't want to have to take care of the kids, who would interupt his football time.

So needless to say, I am working through the ups and downs of simplicity and seeing where it takes me. I am learning that it isn't always easy, I just hope the end result is worth it all.