False Entitlement...are you a victim?

I'm not ashamed to admit that I am! As a child, I was never given an allowance or forced to work for chores for spending money. Now, I wasn't spoiled by any means. But if I asked for money to buy candy or pop or a toy, I usually got it. Sure, I was expected to do chores around the house, mainly helping with yard work and the occassional home improvement stuff. But as far as "ladies" work around the house, my mom always took care of everything without setting up chores for us kids.

So, the idea of self entitlement was born early in me. I didn't have to work for my money until I was well into high school. My parents were always there to give me what I needed and what I wanted. Now, am I blaming my parents for this sense of entitlement? Of course not, they were not purposely doing this, they believed they were doing what was best for us kids. And the best part, is that as an adult, I am not changing my views on money and possessions and I can change the pattern in my kids. I can teach my kids that if you work hard for your money, you don't want to run right out and spend it. I can also teach my kids that you have to work hard for you money. PERIOD! You should always expect to work for things and not have them handed to you!

If my kids help me out around the house, I give them a token. Now, they are young, so they do things cheap! I'm sure this will change eventually. But if they bring the garbage cans in and put them in the garage after garbage day, they each get a quarter! (By the way, this is a great job for a 3 & 6 year old). While they enjoy the quarter, they get a huge sense of satisfaction out of helping mom and feeling useful, which is much more important that money. I am hoping that they will learn this early, and they will develop a great work ethic.

I think I am going to implement a new system soon. Set up chores for each of them daily. Now, I'm not talking about mowing the lawn...I'm talking about setting the table, taking the garbage cans in, taking the recycling out to the bin, making beds, keeping their toys picked up, etc. Then what I will do is that they each get a "token" of some sort with no monetary value that they can put in their chore can (I will let them decorate an old can for this). At the end of the week, we will have non-monetary rewards for their efforts. If they receive so many tokens, then they get to choose what we have for dinner on Friday night, or they get some extra playstation time on Saturday, or can choose our family activity on Sunday! I think this will work much better than giving money, which I always have felt was bribing them!

As I sort through my thoughts and feelings on consumerism, I am being to feel that my false sense of entitlement is not just wrong, but it is wasting my money and is also creating a horrible situation in our landfills. How often do I buy those items that I use for a year (only a few times) then they end up in the garbage. Of course, now I try to give them away or sell them before I pitch them, but some things do end up in the can! So I am working through all this and I am getting better!