Frugal Living vs. Extravagance

Making friends as a child was so simple. It amazes me that as we get older, it becomes so much harder to make new friends. Personally, I think as we get older, we become more judgemental of others who are not just like us, and it makes it harder for us to accept and make friends with people who are "different" than us.

What am I talking about you wonder? I'm talking about frugal vs. extravagant living. Can these two worlds come together in friendship and harmony? Honestly, I have no idea. When I make new friends, I tend to seek out like minded people. I was thinking about this recently, and looked around at all of our friends and realized that we have surrounded ourselves with people who tend to treat money like we do.

I made a group of "new friends" this summer, and found that even though we were all Stay-at-Home mom's, I had very little in common with many of them. Out of the deal, I came away with one friend, who seems to be like-minded about things. She seems to enjoy the simple things in life, crafting and inexpensive projects for her kids, reading for entertainment, etc. Her and I have had free playdates with each other at the park or at our homes. Never once have her and I been to McDonald's playland together, or out for ice cream, or really spent any money together. Is this how I choose my friends? Absolutely not! But it sure is a bonus to find a friend who doesn't feel like dropping money at every turn, and expecting me to do the same with her. With her, I have never had to explain or defend my frugal lifestyle. She seems to understand my desire to save my money, not spend it on unecessary things, and she understands the joy and pride I take in making many things myself. Her and I have not talked at length about frugal living, but I believe we have the "unspoken bond" of two frugal mom's trying to do the best we can in a very expensive world.

Is that to say that I don't hang out with the other mom's I met? Well, yes actually. Through the fall months when we first met, we spent one day a week having picnic's at the park, and we all had a wonderful time. Once it got too cold for that, I shifted my weekly outings to taking my son to the free storytimes offered by the two local bookstores, and many of the other moms shifted their schedules to include a weekly lunch date at McDonald's and bowling each week. As much as I and my children love to bowl (and my kids love Micky D's), we save those things for birthday's and special occassions. It is one of the things that my kids love to do, and it would lose it's excitement if we did it each week. Not to mention it would break my budget.

I do believe that someone frugal can be friends with someone who lives an extravegant lifestyle. However, I do think that it is much, much easier for two people to become friends when they have the same mind-set towards money. I have never had to defend my lifestyle choices to my frugal friend, or turn her down for a playdate because it doesn't fit in my budget. Frugalites understand that there is no need to talk about it (ok, well...unless you are sharing frugal tips). It doesn't matter to us whether you are being frugal because you choose to be or because you have to be. The fact of the matter is, it is one thing you have in common, and with other Frugalites you don't feel the need to defend yourself at every turn!